DuriYon ki na parvah kijiye, Dil jab b pukare bula lijiye, Hum dur nahi zyada aapse . . Bas ek bottle MAAZA Aur 5 Samose taaza Mangwa lijiye..!
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Showing posts from December 13, 2015
Santa Singh depressed
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Santa Singh depressed Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him. “Oye why are you sad?” To which Santa replies … “I lost Rs 300 in bet.” His friend ask hims… “How?” Santa Singh says.. “I bet on India for Rs 200…” But unfortunately India lost His friend queries.. “But you said Rs 300…” Santa Singh answers… “I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”
Sardar and Hidden Camera
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Sardar and Hidden Camera Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?” Santa : “Hidden camera!” Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?” Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”
Hai koi jawaab???
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Hai koi jawaab??? A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court . But the custody of their child posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody. The man also wanted custody of his child . The judge asked for his side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, “Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?” Hai koi jawaab???
Santa’s curtains
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Santa’s curtains Santa enters a store that sells curtains. He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.” He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing . Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he needed. Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.” “Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?” Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, “But, sir, computers do not have curtains !” Santa says, “Hellllooooooooo……..I’ve got Windows!”
Evils of liquor
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Evils of liquor A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor , so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms . “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm , he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked . Shyam, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”
Violin Practice
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Violin Practice Little Radha was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the newspapper. The family dog was lying and as the screeching sounds of little Radha’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly . The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up , slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”
God is missing
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God is missing There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor. Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”. The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard. When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?” The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”
Little girl and boy
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Little girl and boy Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, “Are you a little girl or a little boy?” “I don’t know,” replied the other baby giggling.”What do you mean, you don’t know?” said the first baby. “I mean I don’t know how to tell the difference,” was the reply. Well, I do,” said the first baby chuckling. “I’ll climb into your crib and find out.” He carefully climbed himself into the other baby’s crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets . After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. “You’re a little girl, and I’m a little boy,” he said proudly. “You’re ever so clever,” cooed the baby girl, “but how can you tell?” “It’s quite easy really,” replied the baby boy, “You’ve got pink socks and I’ve got blue ones.”
Dost ki Kabar
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Dost ki Kabar If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai. Aur samne wale kabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai. Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai , “Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthega?” Doosra aadmi , “Jab tumhara dost chawal khane
Samne tha Bus Stop
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Samne tha Bus Stop If you are not automatically redirected, click here . A policeman caught a Pathan driver stopping the bus at the road and began asking questions: Policeman: “Tumne bich road pe bus Kyun rok di?” Pathan: Hum seher mein naya aaya hai magar Kanoon nahi torta! Woh samne dekho likha hai “Bus Stop” Toh humne rok diya :p
Tala ka maamla
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Tala ka maamla If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga. Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai. Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon” Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
Aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo…
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Aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo… If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho , chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake … Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai. Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai , usse bulau?
Santa Singh depressed
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Santa Singh depressed If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him. “Oye why are you sad?” To which Santa replies … “I lost Rs 300 in bet.” His friend ask hims… “How?” Santa Singh says.. “I bet on India for Rs 200…” But unfortunately India lost His friend queries.. “But you said Rs 300…” Santa Singh answers… “I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”
Kya Tum Ek Haath Se…
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Kya Tum Ek Haath Se… If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?” “Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha. Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo.” Comments(6) | | Do aankhe battis daante If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Saas: Khuda ne tumhe do aankhe di hai, Chawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti kya? Bahu: Khuda ne tumhe battis daant diye hai do char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!!
Ajit new year
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Ajit & robert in cricket match If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan . Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls. Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde. Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message. Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six! Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.
Apple joke
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A for Apple If you are not automatically redirected, click here . Banta class mein – madam maine “abc” yaad karli.. Madam -ok , to sunao.. Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz….. Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple Banta – ok madam…. A for apple. B for bada apple . C for chhota apple . D for dusra apple . E for ek aur apple . F for fokat ka apple . G for gol apple . H for hazar apple I for itney saarey apple ? J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple L for lena padhega tumko apple M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple P for peth bhar khaao apple Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple R for roz agar khaao tum apple S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple V for very tasty hai yeh apple W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple X for ...
New year joke
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New Year SMS Shayari कबीर जी कह गये: कल करे सों आज कर, आज करे सों अब; नेटवर्क फेल हो गया विश करेगा कब। नव वर्ष की शुभकामनाएं। Read: NEW YEAR JOKES ************* New Year SMS Shayari आपकी आँखों में सजे हैं जो भी सपने, और दिल में छुपी हैं जो भी अभिलाषाएं, यह नया वर्ष उन्हें सच कर जाए, आपके लिए यही हैं हमारी शुभकामनाएं। ************* New Year SMS Shayari इससे पहले की इस साल का अस्त हो, और कैलेंडर नष्ट हो, आप ख़ुशी में मस्त हो, मोबाईल का नेटवर्क व्यस्त हो, दुआ है कि नया साल आपके लिये जबरदस्त हो, नव वर्ष की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं। Read: Santa Banta Jokes – संता की गूगल डार्लिंग ************* New Year SMS Shayari आप जहाँ जाये वहां से करे फ्लाई ऑल टियर, सब लोग आप को ही मानें अपना डियर, आप की हर राह हो आलवेज क्लियर...और, खुदा दे आप को एक झक्कास न्यू इयर! ************* New Year SMS Shayari हर साल आता है, हर साल जाता है, इस नये साल में आपको वो सब मिले, जो आपका दिल चाहता है, नया साल मुबारक।
Prem ratan dhan payo movies best joke
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प्रेम रतन धन पायो बहुत सारा धन पायो हद से ज्यादा धन पायो पर आप इतना धन नही पायो इस लिये देखने मत जायो सलमान खान डबल रोल मे आयो सोनम कपूर को राजकुमारी के रूप मे दिखायो राज घराने मे iPhone/iPad चलायो खूब सारी लग्जरी कारे दिखायो फालतू की सजावट करवायो हर किसी से इंग्लिश बुलवायो देश के सारे कल्चर एक ही महल मे घुसायो अनुपम खेर एक्टिंग की माँ-बहन करवायो फालतू डायलॉग्स बुलवायो हम तो गलती से देख आयो कह रहे हैं मत जायो कह रहे हैं मत जायो ।।
Best funny jokes for students ## whatsapp funny jokes ##
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